RIP PART FOUR (4)

THE FINAL CHAPTER

The time to hesitate is through

No time to wallow in the mire

Try now we can only lose

And our love become a funeral pyre

Come on baby, light my fire

- The Doors , Light My Fire

Hindus perfected the art of cremation. There is tradition and ritual involved in it. The eldest in the house lights the pyre. The ashes are collected afterwards and sent adrift in a sacred river. The cultural influence in America is changing the way we deal with our dead. The new crematorium in Turlock, where I grew up, is equipped with a family viewing room. From this gallery the family can watch the casket be loaded into the cremation chamber, and there is a STARTER button on the wall next to the window. The ancient cultural rites adapted for modern times. It works. Of course, the best funeral pyre ever is at the end of Return of the Jedi. Luke Skywalker lights the pyre containg the remains of Darth Vader, his father, thus returning his father's soul back to the light side. (See picture above)

When TJ died, my wife and I had to decide quickly what we were going to do. I didn’t think I could handle a funeral, so I tossed out the cremation suggestion. Linda agreed. Later, after we had time to really think about the whole thing, Linda told me that her initial reaction to the idea did not set well in her mind. Cremation to her is over-the-top. Does she regret the decision? She says no, and in fact she gets a lot of comfort from having him at home with us. Her concern at the time was not the funeral, but the internment. The idea of burying TJ in a cemetery was too much for grasp.

So here is our plan. Since Linda doesn’t like the idea of being cremated, she will have a traditional Catholic funeral Mass with a graveside service to follow. If I pass away after Linda, I will be cremated and my remains put into a pewter urn that matches TJ’s. No funeral, no memorial service, just my name in the paper and the address of the funeral home. If I die before Linda, she can have me embalmed and do the whole funeral thing. Regardless of all that, TJ will be placed in the casket with either me or Linda. We will more than likely buy a family tomb in the wall of the St. Anthony Chapel at St. Peter’s Cemetery in Fresno, California. One thing that Linda and I both agree upon is that neither of us likes the idea of being underground. The only reason we would plant ourselves in traditional plots would be if the cemetery allowed for big gaudy custom tombstones. I got a few ideas for something where grave stones are concerned. Don’t get me started…..