RIP PART THREE (3)

My father was a mortician for almost 30 years. One would think that after so many years in the business he would have figured out the details of his own service. But no. Not only has he not figured any of specifics, he and my mother can not seem to agree on any of their preferences, other than both wanting to be cremated. My mother must be an old hippie at heart. She wants her ashes to be scattered in the roses that line the drive way of their home in Florence, Oregon. My father does not. If there is one thing he has determined it is that he likes the idea of having a little piece of real estate to call his own. He doesn’t know what kind, nor has he looked into buying anything. He just likes the idea of someone at some time wanting to look him up and maybe come to visit. My mother, apparently just wants to be plant food. Literally. The other aspects of their services have not even been talked about. Do they want a funeral Mass, just a memorial, or a funeral-less wake? What music do they want played? There are so many things to consider. Nothing is planned or worked out. Almost 30 years in the biz and my parents are going into their golden years blind.

We used to visit cemeteries on vacation. I now understand that my father was always on the lookout. Every trip was a scouting expedition for a potential life change – could we live here? My father said that a community could be judged by the cemeteries they keep. I still visit cemeteries when I travel. I couldn’t tell you how many I have been to. If we don’t stop, I sometimes take pictures of grave yards from car windows. I have a beautiful picture from my honeymoon that I took from the passenger side window of our 1978 Diesel Rabbit of the massive tombstones in the Guadalupe cemetery. I’m obsessed. It was Steinbeck’s grave that gave me my final burial plan. His is so simple, a brass plaque in the family plot with his name and the years of his life, 1902 – 1968. Simple. His cremated remains were placed under the name plate and that is that. Ever since visiting his grave for the first time back in 1987, I thought that is the plan for me. I want to be like Steinbeck.

Stay tuned for PART FOUR (4) in which our plan for TJ is finally revealed.